“To realize that he who once lived in the sanctuary of our affection, in the frank confidence where conversation seemed but our soliloquy, and to whom our aims and aspirations have been thrown open with no Bluebeard chamber of reserve, has been secretly poisoning the waters of our reputation and undermining us by his lies and treachery, is hard indeed. But no matter how the ingratitude stings us, we should just swallow the sob, stifle the tear, smile serenely and bravely, and—seek to forget.” ~ William George Jordan
The stings of ingratitude lead many otherwise balanced and sensible people astray. It seems odd, but many have abandoned a stance of radiance and gratefulness in reaction to the lack of gratitude in others. “That thankless so-and-so…after all I did for him…I’ll show him!” And the poisoning begins.
If a friend leaves you because times got hard or because your patterns of relatedness changed due to larger shifts in the world around you, you are likely better off without them. Blessings often come disguised and you are wise never to judge by appearances alone. Many blessings are deemed curses and discarded unnecessarily. Wise is the man, therefore, who refrains from snap judgments about the changes in his field of influence and gives space in his mental and emotional approach to the matter for the elements to reveal themselves over time.
You cannot forget effectively without first forgiving completely. You cannot move from “I’m trying hard to forget” to “I had totally forgotten about that” without having had your heart cleansed by the purifying waters of forgiveness. The best way to maintain your momentum in living after being betrayed or abandoned by a trusted friend is to forgive with all of the immediacy, depth and absoluteness you can summon and then move on.
There are always brighter days ahead of you if you meet all that comes your way with gratitude, even if the only thing you can be thankful for in the circumstance is that it came to you instead of another less prepared than you to handle its intricate challenges. To abide in gratitude you must apply a liberal amount of the grease of forgiveness to the wheels in your heart and mind, for if there is one thing that is certain in a world governed by human nature, you will be let down by others on occasion.
Don’t take it so personally. Rise up, move on!