“The essence of truest kindness lies in the grace with which it is performed. Some men seem to discount all gratitude, almost make it impossible, by the way in which they grant favors. They make you feel so small, so mean, so inferior; your cheeks burn with indignation in the acceptance of the boon you seek at their hands. You feel it is like a bone thrown at a dog, instead of the quick, sympathetic graciousness that forestalls your explanations and waives your thanks with a smile, the pleasure of one friend who has been favored with the opportunity to be of service to another. The man who makes another feel like an insect reclining on a red-hot stove while he is receiving a favor, has no right to expect future gratitude,—he should feel satisfied if he receives forgiveness.” ~ William George Jordan
He who is truly righteous seeks not to lord his goodness over another, rather, he takes aim in a way that the blessing he seeks to offer is most likely to hit its mark. This is the essence of the injunction to be “wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”
He who takes goodness into his own hands, twisting it to conform to his own purposes is he who is no longer a force of good, but a do-gooder, no longer virtuous, but a goody two-shoes. In my estimation, self-righteousness on the part of the so-called “good” religious adherents and secular law-abiding citizens has done more damage to the reputation of goodness than all of the foci of evil throughout history.
You can be incredibly kind and unfailingly gracious without donning the robe of self-righteousness. To do so your heart must be pure, your intentions must be genuine and your approach must take into account the many twists and turns in the consciousness of those in your field of influence, (as well as your own!). He who would seek to be good never forces his opinion upon another, neither does he require anything in exchange.
On a final note, take care not to discount the gratitude of others. Even though you do not require gratitude in exchange for your favors, you are wise to receive any thanks offered with humility and appreciation, for such a gesture completes the circuit of blessing. Refusing to accept the gratitude of others is as much an impediment to the expansion of goodness in the earth as not offering blessings at all.