“If our education had included training to bear unpleasantness and to let the first shock pass until we could think more calmly, many an unbearable situation would become manageable, and many a nervous illness avoided.” ~ Claire Weekes

In a world where most people are not consistently giving their highest and finest you are bound to run into unpleasant situations every now and again, if not daily. The world we have is the result of the choices we’ve made collectively, and no matter how perfectly you’ve carried yourself in the midst of the chaos you are bound to feel the results of poor choices being made elsewhere.

Ask the toe who in and of himself would be healthy and strong were it not for the mouth who found an overly rich diet irresistible. Gout may be his burden even though it might not be his fault directly. So it is in the body of humanity. We may not all be visibly connected to one another, but the causal ricochets of the choices made and actions taken by others impact us constantly.

Realizing this, we needn’t be shocked when things don’t go as expected or when we encounter an unexpected rough patch. You can broaden your scope of expectation – anything can happen! – and resolve to make the most out of whatever does.

The vicissitudes of life are much more manageable than some would have you think. If you didn’t learn this lesson at home or at school while growing up, who says you can’t learn it now?

“I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.” ~ Emo Phillips

It’s hard to be a cynic without indulging in paranoia on occasion.

The cynic grows to expect the worst in everything. He justifies his failure to assume responsibility for his best expression with a well-fortified set of jaded expectations. He reasons internally: “Why should I care or try when I am quite sure that those around me won’t?”

When, however, you make a commitment to expressing only your highest and finest, your personal attitudes toward the world change dramatically. As a result, something magical begins to happen. The best in those around you flows toward you as the best in you moves outward toward them.

Sure you will be disappointed by others on occasion, but the rush you get when the best   in you meets the best in others will put such let-downs into perspective. The internal shift in personal attitude will liberate you and those around you from the small boxes of your own making, thereby invalidating the prejudice of paranoia.

As I mentioned yesterday, cynicism is nothing more than the absence of radiance in individual expression. By radiance I do not mean the false and groundless optimism that some people manufacture by mental gymnastics or through intention and therefore “have.” The radiance of which I speak is the outward evidence of the presence of the unique, majestic and ever-present, bright and influential focus of life that you “are.”

If your life is not on purpose, the life that you are is distorted as it moves through your heart and mind on its way out into your thoughts, words and actions. Whenever it is distorted or muted you will feel awkward, disjointed and unfulfilled, no matter how many of your goals in life you’ve achieved or how many material possessions you’ve accumulated in the process.

The key to lifelong happiness and to avoiding cynicism at any age is to keep your life on purpose. Stay on purpose and your light will shine increasingly bright as you age, reaching maximum intensity in the last hours, minutes and seconds of your time on earth.

A friend visiting from Colorado asked an important question over lunch a couple of days ago, the answer to which finally surfaced during a quiet moment earlier today. While I didn’t ask, I imagine the question was asked as he is at an age (mid 20s) where I recall noticing the same thing in the world around me.

Some see their parents becoming cynical, others see it in family or friends farther afield. When I first saw the dark and heavy cloud that accompanies cynicism some 20 years ago, I remember feeling a mixture of horror and despair.  I asked myself “How could someone give up on life and the future like that, and so early?” I also remember thinking “I sure hope that doesn’t happen to me.”

Cynicism has nothing to do with the world around you. Yes, the world can be a horrible place and yes, the accumulation of negative life experiences can be trying, but no one can force you to take an attitude in relation to the living of life. Your attitudes are your responsibility and this responsibility should never be taken lightly.

Cynicism has everything to do with the failure to come to terms with your central purpose in life. Unfortunately no one can tell you your central purpose. It has to emerge through you from the inside-out. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and disappointment if you remember that your central purpose is revealed to you as you faithfully and generously serve others.

It is commonly assumed that the attitude of cynicism is something that is caught, like a cold or flu, at a certain point in life. Some contract it earlier than others, but the majority of cases seem to develop in what is known as mid-life.

Secondary symptoms often accompany the heart-hardening attitude called cynicism. Men who become cynical tend to resignation while women are more prone to develop a strident right-hand diamond approach to living. These secondary symptoms are compensatory strategies which help the cynic, male or female, deal with the shame of giving up on life.

An honest analysis of cynicism reveals that it is not a contagious attitude, neither is it something that happens to you by virtue of an externally imposed force. The attitude of cynicism is simply the evidence of the absence of radiance, a final concession to mediocrity.

While I am incredibly grateful for the education I received at the Carroll Graduate School of Management at Boston College, I must admit that there was one area of function that I was not adequately prepared for as I moved on from school to the “real world” of owning and managing small businesses. I was immersed in the well established sciences of finance, accounting, economics, statistics, marketing, information technology, tax, ethics, management and organizational development, but there was little, if any, focus on the matter of vision.

As it turns out, this ability has proven to be the most important capability a true leader can possess. I absolutely agree that every manager or leader should possess a balanced understanding of the areas of business knowledge described above, but these are really the “hows” of the organization, the means by which the “why” – the core purpose of the organization – is translated day by day into the “what” of the organization, that is, its products.

So what is the “why” of the organization? You’ve likely noticed that many companies work to develop mission statements and concise lists of core values. While these certainly point in the direction of the “why,” they are naught but refracted versions or shades of the original and central “why.” Companies rarely articulate the “why” because those responsible for charting its course are not typically aware of the importance of (1) articulating it and (2) displaying it in plain sight of staff, investors, customers and competitors.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the “why” that sits in the center of the various businesses I own and manage and I’ve come up with a simple yet complete definition of the core of my vision for each and every one of them:

I believe in a healthy world.

This is my “why” for everything I do. I truly believe in the possibility of a world free of disease and conflict. We are, admittedly, a long way from that goal, but I have a vision and I am taking steps to implement that vision through every decision made in my organizations. There are obstacles to overcome – commonly held beliefs, years of evidence to the contrary conditioning human consciousness, innumerable competing interests, etc. – but I know that each time we successfully meet these obstacles in miniature in the small business setting, we give incontrovertible evidence that it can be done to the doubting aspects of our own consciousness as well as to the naysayers beyond.

So what does this mean to you? Vision is just as important to the individual as it is to the corporation. Why do you do what you do? What is the central “why” to which you have dedicated your life? If you haven’t defined it yet, you’re probably bouncing around from “why” to “why” – consciously or unconsciously – and you may even find yourself on occasion operating on two or more contradictory “whys” at the same time.

This is the source of the unrelieved tension in the consciousness of man. This is the source of the checkered progress of mankind through the ages. This is the central reason why you have not lived up to the high standard that you can in every aspect of your life.

Take the time to let your “why” form in your consciousness – the “why” that is unique to you – and you will be well on your way to a productive, fulfilling life.

Where there is vision, the people flourish.